If you’re a dazzling bride-to-be, perhaps with a new sparkler on your hand after the holiday season, you might have already found your dream wedding challenged by the high costs of everything related to the Big Day. The average cost of a wedding right now is over $24,000, which is a lot of cash…the grand total of a large number of little wedding elements that add up: $150 here, $200 there, and pretty soon, you’re in the stratosphere of bridal budgets.
But there is a very smart trend going on in wedding world, one that saves thousands of dollars and is kind to the environment in so many ways…which is the ultimate Win-Win for the Gorgeously Green bride. That’s taking the old adage Something Borrowed, and making it a much bigger part of your plan.
Think about this: if you borrowed a friend’s tiara, which surprisingly is one of the most popular Borrows in wedding world right now, you could save $195 to $400. And by virtue of not buying a new tiara, you’re avoiding the use of metals, chemicals, and labor used to make a new one.
If you borrowed the glass vases and pedestal platters your recently-married cousin used at her wedding, you’d save over $100, and again avoid any materials used in new creations, plus fuel and carbon footprint of getting new cases of items shipped to you.
Cake plates, cupcake trees, special linens for the cake table, photo frames, votive holders, strings of fairy lights…these are all things that top the list of Most Borrowed Wedding Items. The savings tally adds up to thousands back in your pocket, and your wise use of borrowed items gets you more wedding than your wallet would allow. And you have the good karma and good feelings of avoiding mass production and all of its unpleasant side effects.
Jewelry is in the mix as well, with mother’s and grandmother’s necklaces worn for the ceremony, and brides also switch to another honored woman’s necklace for the reception. Bracelets, earrings, the sparkling drop of a lariat necklace adding bling to a backless dress. These valuable borrows keep you out of the world of dirty gold, unethically-mined gemstones and the production of faux stones. Plus, wearing mom’s necklace adds a priceless dose of sentimentality on your Big Day. She wore that necklace at her wedding, and now here you are wearing it at yours. Or perhaps a departed grandmother’s brooch can be incorporated into your dress design or affixed to your bouquet handle. Brooches are huge trends right now, and family members always have heirloom pieces to lend happily.
So with Borrows being such a brilliant way to save on the wedding budget, and a kindness to the earth, why aren’t they a much bigger part of wedding planning? Brides are afraid to ask.
They don’t want to look cheap (don’t worry…you won’t!) They don’t want to reveal their need to save money (Don’t worry…everyone’s on a budget these days!) And some parents don’t want to look like they can’t afford to give you a grand wedding. They worry about offending relatives you might ask for borrows. That kind of thing just wasn’t done when they planned their wedding. So the parents might be your blockade.
Just explain to them that Borrows are a big trend right now, and it’s a huge honor paid to a relative or friend whose style you love so much you want their item to be a part of your day. Bringing in lovely things from your loved ones’ weddings is also a way to infuse some of the magic from their own marriages – which you admire and wish to emulate. It’s a new twist to personalizing weddings, making your circle of friends and family an even bigger part of your Big Day. When explained to them like that, parents then see the magic of the Borrow…and they get into the act!
So parents, then, join you in your search for pretty items to borrow for your wedding celebration, as well as for the engagement party they’ll host for you, bridal showers, the rehearsal dinner, the morning-after breakfast and other special moments starting your married life. They shake off their anxiety about asking people for Borrows, which leads them to ask people in their own circle if a borrow might be arranged. Which is how you get to ride to your wedding in your Dad’s golf buddy’s hybrid car. For free. That’s $2,000 back in your pocket.
Shaking off your own anxieties further, you might ask your wedding coordinator and florist what you can borrow from their stockroom. Especially if they’re green-minded, your brave approach of, “We’re looking to Borrow décor items to keep our green philosophies strong in our wedding, so would you happen to have any overstocks or items you’d be willing to let us borrow?” can net you big savings, and a more lavishly-decorated wedding that makes them look more amazing to your guests.
Every wedding vendor wants to show off his or her best talents and designs to everyone in that wedding room, since the grand effect created for you is a huge selling tool for them. Among your 150 guests might be ten who are so impressed by them that they ask you for their contact information and book them for their own weddings and special family celebrations. Wedding vendors know that, and many are happy to lend you items that are just taking up space in their storerooms. It’s a form of re-purposing with a benefit on the other side. So don’t be afraid to ask. Without overselling the whole “Our guests will be more willing to book you” issue, since some vendors immediately switch off their generosity vibes, feeling like you’re trying to manipulate them. They know the additional décor pieces will impress the crowd and ideally get more bookings. Your saying that is what turns them off. A little secret from inside wedding world!
So to begin your Something Borrowed plans, make a list of your top priority items, the things you’ll want to keep after your wedding day, not have to give back at the end of the reception or the next day. You might want to own your tiara and hand it down to your daughter someday. Those are your No Borrow items. Then brainstorm a list of what you might wish to borrow, and think about who owns these types of things and used them at their weddings. DON’T send out an email to all of your guests, listing the things you’re looking to borrow. That’s bad etiquette. Just ask those you know well, and they may suggest a few other things they’d be proud and happy to lend you. You may be surprised by what they offer, which makes this money- and environment-friendly strategy all the more fun!
