2010 New Year’s Resolutions

As we hurtle into the New Year, we start looking ahead to what we want to change about ourselves in 2011 (we are making our 2010 New Year’s Resolutions). Some of us want to be more organized, more motivated, more goal-oriented, and of course thinner and all that comes with that!! There are always a number of things that I’d like to “improve” upon, but I’ve sort of given up on New Year’s resolutions because they rarely work for the long haul. They’re not sustainable!

One of the reasons I wrote The Gorgeously Green Diet was because I wanted to create more of a lifestyle change based on making informed decisions about one’s health & beauty, rather than a white-knuckle diet of deprivation. Depriving myself of anything that feels good, whether it’s a bit of retail therapy, a creamy latte, or a few squares of chocolate, always backfires. My diet is the diet of “allowing” – allowing myself treats, mistakes, bad hair days – in short, allowing myself to be human.

I’ve spoken to two good girlfriends in the past week who feel depressed because they feel that they are “failures” . Both of these women are smart, gorgeous, and kind individuals who feel a lack of value because they haven’t “made it” in their lives. One is having a hard time finding a job she likes, and the other says that she’s too fat and old (she’s 40 and most certainly NOT overweight). I know what it’s like to feel down and depressed, to feel that my life lacks a sense of value and purpose, however, much of this came from me giving myself a hard, hard time.

Even with 2010 New Year’s Resolutions, the most inspiring women I know are women who accept themselves for who they are warts and all. Women who have learned to “wear life like a loose garment” and to laugh at themselves. When you laugh, you’re beautiful. So despite what you and I may have been conditioned to believe, that we need to be ridiculously thin, uber-smart, charming, and raking in bucket-loads of money, to be even remotely acceptable (never mind successful,) maybe the change of mindset for 2011 is that we allow ourselves to be exactly who we are.

Flicking through a few magazines this Holiday brought a cruel irony into the spotlight for me: in-depth articles about how to find your life’s purpose and “be true to yourself” were peppered with glossy ads depicting impossibly beautiful families with perfectly white teeth and glossy hair. All of the TV personalities and models in these magazines have had their photographs digitally enhanced – wrinkles wiped out, lips expanded- even necks lengthened. Trust me, my husband works in the business of making rock stars look stunning to sell more music, and I’m amazed at what they can now do to dramatically alter the way someone really looks. Don’t get me wrong, a new “lip-plumping” gloss, a mani/pedi, or the purchase of a fabulous organic creme that promises to slow down all visible signs of aging, is never a bad thing – on the contrary, these little “lollipops” as my friend Natasha calls them, are temporary mood-lifters and fun.

As I think about my 2010 New Year’s Resolutions, I want 2011 to be a year when I will relax and further commit to allowing myself to be “me”. The girlfriends I love most in my life are women who have the courage to be vulnerable and share their deepest darkest hang-ups, fears, irritations and things they hate about themselves with me. Thank Goodness for these women – they mirror me, and show me that to be “perfect” is not lovable or desirable.

So as I kick back with a steaming mug of chai and a couple of squares of my favorite chocolate, I’ll re-read this beautiful poem by Patricia Lynn Reilly, and allow myself to drift effortlessly into the New Year.

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past’s influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.