I look for every opportunity to increase my personal growth. I look in all directions. I try to consciously notice an AFGO – another F…ing Growth Opportunity. But often we associate this kind of thing with a negative experience rather than a positive one. The truth is that they are to be found everywhere, we just have to notice and sometimes we have to court them.
So I’m advocating wearing velvet this holiday season (and all year long for that matter). It’s party season. Velvet has always had its place and, sure, it looks great and falls nicely over the body but that’s not the reason I’m advocating wearing it. It’s for the sensual instruction it can bring, to the wearer.
I’m advocating touching yourself, generously, at any time and anywhere. When you’ve got velvet on it offers you many opportunities to rub, touch, feel, minutely examine, and generally get intimate with your own touch receptors. Don’t stop reading, this is important, especially for women. We need to learn how to be more sensuous and erotic and present with our arousal mechanisms because that is how we get turned on. And what better way to explore arousal than feeling yourself!
Put on the velvet and go to a party. If you’re shy then practice at home first, as it all works. With a skirt or velvet pants on you can rub your thighs, your knees, and your hips. Don’t be shy! Do it slowly and deliberately. People like this. It gives them permission to be sensual with their own bodies and it invites and draws others to you. If you’ve got a velvet jacket or shirt on then caress your own arms, seductively, for yourself. If you don’t have any velvet go get something at a thrift store or buy something new if you must. Get something you’ll wear a lot because this is lesson time for learning to love yourself more and being present with touching yourself.
We are erotic, sensual beings but in this day and age we limit our experiences and expressions of these qualities. This limits us in the positive feelings that go along with loving ourselves. If you practice at home first focus on your fingertips, not the thigh or arm your hand is rubbing. Your fingers and hands have extra touch nerve cells that allow for much more sensitivity but when you are stroking your own leg, for instance, you’ll notice the leg much more than your own hand that is doing the stroking. The reality is that both limbs, the hand and the leg, are getting a lot of stimulus. It’s important to focus on both for the full effect.
Of course, this isn’t just about you. This is the learning curve to really stepping up to erotically touching someone else. You just need to completely understand what you are doing (and of course once you’ve started feeling how fabulous it feels to simply stroke yourself you probably aren’t going to stop!). When you touch someone else sensually you don’t usually focus on our own fingertips and hands. When you do, however, it is a sure fire bet that whomever you are touching is going to have a fabulous experience. That’s the key to touching. You’ve got to enjoy it first!
“You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves” ~Mary Oliver
If you’re looking for a different kind of holiday experience or gift for a lover then try creating a sensual experience for them. Run a bath and create the scene with candles, champagne and music. After this you can add a massage or a sensual experience by blindfolding them and treating them to different sensual sensations. These might include stroking them with a feather, a piece of velvet, a soft makeup brush, a petal from a rose, a scented oil, your fingernails, a hair brushing with a soft brush and anything else that occurs to you to use. Stage this right and this eco-friendly treat won’t be forgotten anytime soon!
