Without being in the slightest bit aware of it, Fear can rule my day. It can crank itself up first thing in the morning, and if left alone, can turn into a big shadow, which follows me around all day.
Some of my fears are founded, and serve me very well. For example, I fear being alone in a parking garage because I happen to know it’s one of the number one places that rape/ attacks take place. In the same way, I’ve taught my daughter to be afraid of crossing a busy street. We have the emotion of fear for a reason – but this isn’t the kind of fear that I’m talking about.
The kind of fears that bubble away in recesses of my consciousness are mostly about things that might happen in the future – things that I might not like – that might be painful. I’ve learned to think of Fear as: False Evidence Appearing Real! Yes – the truth is that most of them are based on something that isn’t, or doesn’t have to be, true.
So, here’s my remedy for walking free of those pesky fears that can become very loud voices in my head: I WRITE them down. There is something so powerful about putting pen to paper, and seeing what you’re dealing with in plain black and white. I first learned about the pouring the mental trash out onto paper 20 years ago, when I read Marianne Williamson’s “The Artist’s Way”. Williamson suggests that in order to tap into your creative genius, you write “morning pages”. The idea is that in getting rid of all the mental crap so that you will be better able to get creative. I did this religiously for a few years, but it did start to get a bit self-obsessive. There’s only so much of Sophie’s thoughts, emotions and neurosis that I could take.
However, this process led me to an exercise that is much quicker and more effective in dealing with the fears that can ruin my day. I simply grab a notepad, and write at the top of the page: “What Am I Afraid Of”. Then I write, without my pen stopping, for 3 minutes. I quickly read through my fears, and immediately realize how completely false most of them are. If there are bigger fears that are real, seeing them in black and white, allows me to spend a few minutes in silent prayer/meditation, handing them over to God.
This little exercise can be done on the train, bus, or when you have a quiet minute at work. I do it before anyone in my house wakes up because I treasure that alone-time. When I operate from Love, rather than Fear, I have a much better chance of being the person that I really want to be.
