I think that kindness is the most important quality that I can cultivate on a daily basis. Kindness is soft. Kindness makes me feel vulnerable, and kindness opens up my heart to the pain and suffering around me. More importantly, kindness opens my heart to the LOVE surrounding me. My life is utterly transformed when I remember how practicing random acts of kindness can change my life.
In a world where we hear about so much hate, anger, and violence on a daily basis, it’s never been more important for us all recognize and nurture kindness within our hearts, and to appreciate it in others. When I witness random acts of kindness, it changes my day. Seeing a homeless man pay loving attention to his dog, watching someone lovingly tend to an elderly person – these simple acts make me stop in my tracks and remind me that nothing is more important than kindness.
Kindness cost’s me nothing. It only asks that I pause when agitated, and open up to someone when I least feeling like doing so. Kindness is the most powerful contrary action that I can take. What I mean by this is that when I’m feeling down, insecure, afraid, irritated, impatient, or frustrated, I can practice an act of kindness, which is completely opposite to the way I feel. But magically, that simple act always transforms my mind, body and spirit.
When I’m in fear, my thoughts tend not to be kind. When I’m afraid and stressed, I tend to assassinate myself mentally, and this invariably spills over onto others. It starts with unkind thoughts such as, “you can’t figure anything out”, “you’re stupid”, “you messed that up and you’re useless”. This unpleasant self-flagellation can go on and on unabated, unless I step in and realize what I’m actually doing to myself. Sometimes the only way that I can get that kind of objectivity is when I sit down and take a few cleansing breaths, or get the junk out of my mind by writing it all down stream-of-consciousness style.
If I can possibly force myself to meditate (very hard when I’m in that kind of a funk), I get total clarity. I hear a voice deep within that is so completely loving and kind. It’s a voice of unconditional love, which invites me to stop with the mental abuse because, it tells me, I’m perfect and absolutely loved just the way I am. In meditation my harsh thoughts melt like ice, and give way to blissful kindness and self love. When I cultivate my own garden by practicing this kind of self love, it pours out to others.
Acts of kindness can vary in size, and a small act is no less powerful that a large one. They can range from a tiny smile to an all expenses-paid-for trip for a family member who can’t afford a vacation. The key is that the act needs to be completely unconditional. I’m giving you this gift, or paying you this compliment, or helping you with such and such because I want to, and I don’t expect or want anything in return.
So, I invite you all to consciously practice kindness this week. See how many random acts of kindness you can squeeze into each day, and please share with me how it’s going. Remember, the most powerful acts of kindness are often the ones that are anonymous.
Here are some ideas:
- Put a coin or two in someone’s parking meter that you see has run out.
- Offer to buy a drink for the person who is behind you in the coffee shop line.
- Compliment at least 5 people today on something about their physical appearance.
- Send an email to your partner, best friend or a family member telling you how much you love and appreciate them.
- Send a text to a friend or your children telling them how proud you are of (fill in the blank).
- Call up a friend you’ve been neglecting, and plan a coffee, lunch or dinner.
- Give your honey a delicious massage or head rub when you see him or her hunched over their phone or computer.
- If you’re in a long line with impatient people (and particularly if you are feeling impatient), ask if someone’s in a time crunch and if they need to go in front of you.
- Forgive friends, family and work colleagues for making mistakes.
- Take time to really listen to someone who needs to be heard. Listen with your whole body, and without formulating your reply while they are talking. Don’t fix them – just let them be heard.
- Organize a bouquet of flowers (get everyone to pitch in if needs be), for someone at work whose been going through a hard time.
- Allow other family members to have their own political, religious, and other beliefs. Even if they don’t align with yours, be kind enough to allow them to voice what they believe without making them wrong (possibly the hardest).
- Offer to babysit for a family who don’t have the resources to go out.
- Look for someone in the room (party, workplace, gym etc), who looks down, and go strike up a conversation, looking for an opening to make him/her feel more confident, valued and happy.
- Call up someone to say you’re sorry. Don’t make excuses. Just say you’re sorry.
- Take towels and blankets to an animal shelter and/or volunteer your time.
- Go to a retirement home and offer to just sit and chat to some of the residents.
AND PLEASE ADD TO THIS LIST – LET’S GIVE EACH OTHER HUNDREDS OF IDEAS THIS WEEK!
