I was walking with my dad in the bucolic English countryside today and the only sound was the puffing/snorting of Myrtle the pug, and the whispering of the wind in the trees. My dad takes a very long walk through the magnificent woods near their cottage everyday, as he finds it spiritually uplifting. He didn’t actually use the word “spiritual”, but I think that’s what he meant when describing his feelings about being in this wood. As we were walking along, lost in our thoughts – me walking much quicker than him as I was trying to get in some much needed cardio/thigh firming exercise, I realized that he 
wasn’t on my heels anymore. I turned around to see him stop dead in his tracks looking at the path in the woods that we’d trampled along. “Are you okay Dad?” I asked, wondering what was up, and he said, “You need to stop and look back – just look at that beautiful avenue of trees, all the different colors and the way the light is completely different to how it is ahead of us.”
I stood with him, looking back as instructed and noticed that billowing clouds the color of elephants were gathering on the skyline, and yet a shaft of sunlight was breaking through like a laser, hitting a small grove of ancient oaks trees. I realized that if I had kept going and not looked back, stuck in my own thoughts (making laundry lists for the rest of the day,) I never would have experienced that beautiful moment.
As we continued our walk, I ruminated on how little I stop and look back, not just at the view, but also at my life. We live in a forward-facing culture, where we are constantly driving ourselves on to the next activity. It’s rare that we lose that sense of being pulled into the future. Constantly living in the future (mentally,) can be very stressful because it is fraught with “what if’s” – what if I lose my job? what If I lose my money? what if I get sick? and the mental gymnastics continue…
Stopping to look back at the view of the day, the month or even the year can be a great solace to my “monkey” mind who likes to bully me into the future. Looking back at the memory of my daughter laughing herself silly with my mom yesterday makes me smile, looking at how I’ve managed to pull through really tough times makes me feel strong and resilient, and looking back at how things so often work out for the best, gives me faith.
Looking back, however, should be fleeting – I never want to get stuck in the past because the present moment is, for the most part, where we find bliss. In this very moment now, there is absolutely nothing to fear. Being present in this moment is the closest to God that I can be – mindful of my breath, my beating heart, the wind on my skin, the smell of sweet earthy ferns – an awareness of the Great Spirit in and around me can only be experienced when I mentally reside in the NOW.
So for all my “spiritual” leanings, it took my lovely old dad to pull me back from leaping into the unsettling abyss of the future. Inviting me to be still and look back at the view, I was able to melt into the moment with someone I really love.
I’m slowly getting better at controlling my some of my thoughts, rather than having them control me: one of the things I practice is to switch the what if”s from the negative to the positive – what if I get healthier and healthier? what if I find a way to make a living doing something I love? what if it’s all going to work out exactly as it is supposed to? This little switch can be tremendously powerful. So the next time you catch yourself with a negative what if, switch it to the positive and imagine something greater than your wildest dreams.
So true! I’m often dwelling on the past, but nothing can ever change those things!!! I often catch myself worrying about the future too! Living in the now and having positive thoughts about the future can change things for the better, so why waste your time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future?