I dropped my mom off at the airport this morning to go back to the UK. She visited for just one glorious week, she sadly can’t come longer, because my dad and their pug Myrtle, can’t survive for much longer without her. I stopped off at a Coffee Bean near the airport to attend to blocks of unread emails and felt very blue. My husband called to see if I was okay and the floodgates opened. I know many of you understand – in your comments you left about your moms/grandma’s being the most inspirational women in your life, we’re on the same page. So I sat in the Coffee Bean sobbing, barely able to breathe – OMG I miss my mom so much. Through the tears, I was aware that people were staring at me, particularly the man next to me who had momentarily taken his eyes off a
rather disturbing looking video game on his computer. After many trips back and forth to the counter for Napkins, with hubby still consoling me on the phone, I realized I had to pull myself together – grown woman that I am.
As the video game watching dude, got up to go, I sensed him looking it my dirrection, ” I don’t mean to pry,” he said, “but I couldn’t help but hearing some of your conversation and I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. I lost a parent a few months ago and saying good bye is always tough.” I couldn’t believe it – this huge burly, bearded dude with tears welling up in his eyes in the middle of a Coffee Bean! We shoke hands and he took off. Wow – I needed that, just a gesture of connection and kindness from a total stranger, from whom you’d least expect it. What was more moving was that he had the courage to come over and talk to me.
It got me thinking about kindness and how small gestures from strangers can completely alter one’s day. I was always driven crazy by my parents when growing up as they went on and on about having “good manners” – my brother and I were always left on doorsteps with last minute manner reminders: be appreciative of anything you’re given (ie: don’t just say a mechanical “thank you”, always ask if there’s anything you can do to help, clear up you and anyone else’s trash and dispose of it responsibly etc). There’s be a lot of eye-rolling and and sighing from brother to sister, but I can honestly say I’m thankful that it was drilled into us. As an adult with an 8-year old girl, I now realize that good manners are simply kindness and consideration.
I’ve also found that approaching green living from the point of view of kindness is a great way in for folks who would otherwise be turned off the whole “Eco” thing. I’ve just bid farewell to the 6th Graders whom I taught a Sustainability Class to for the last year. I love these students and found that teaching them to be considerate to each other was the most valuable lesson in sustainability.
Example of a kindness/consideration exercise: I stood at the door to the classroom as they came in with a small bowl of organic candies. They were to take a couple each and go sit down. Some of them took way more than a couple and so there were none left for the last 3 or 4 kids in line. This set a great stage for me and was exactly what I wanted to happen – the kids who took more than their fair share, without considering the effect of their actions, were similar to countries (like the U.S.) who has more than our fair share of natural resources, and yet we keep on taking – simplistic but true.
As I walk though my day, attempting to take actions that might have might have a kinder, gentler impact on my environment, it has a knock-on effect. In attempting to be a little more considerate, I find myself being a little kinder to myself too. So when you’re out and about today, you might see quite a few little opportunities to re-consider the way you do things. I catch myself every hour of the day -hmmmmmmmmm maybe I should actually consider a trip to my local hazardous waste drop-off place (or at least go to www.911.org to find out where it is), to drop off that box of hazardous stuff that I’m dying to chuck in the regular trash bin because I’m soooooooooooo lazy. Or it might just be that you’ll light up someone’s day, as the video game dude did mine, by showing some kindness to a total stranger.
“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.” ~John Wooden
I know how you feel Sopjie. I live over here & my grown up sons, sister, Mum & friends all seem very far away at times 🙂